We started off on a high note. I honestly believed that you would be the one but you knew better, didn’t you? It’s been 4 days and I’m finally brave enough to write this letter to you. I don’t want you hanging over me as I work on rebuilding what you’ve broken.
The beginning was wonderful; we made so many plans and had such big dreams. This was going to be my year of even greater achievements. I had a list longer than my arm, of what I wanted from you and how I was going to get it. The excitement must have blinded me to the signs you started showing in me. Signs that not all was okay but I just brushed it off as nervousness. Ha! It wasn’t nerves, was it? It was you pulling away from me.
The instability in one area of my life and the anxiety in another was pulling me into a dark place. The uncertainty at work was causing me to lose my love for everything marketing, and that would soon bleed into GirlCode, and my financial debt was looming over me like a dark cloud, waiting for the best moment to drench me.
I lived in your darkness for so long and I didn’t know how to escape you but I did. It may have been late in the year but I got out. All the dark thoughts will not give you power over me.
- I may have moved back home but I’m closer to those who love me the most and I’m working hard to start afresh
- All the uncertainty at work allowed me to put my trust in those I look up to
- My falling out of love with marketing has allowed me to see and find what drew me to it in the first place.
I will take my lessons learned from you and will be better off in 2018.
I will be transformed.
That is my theme for 2018. My goal and drive for 2018 is not to tick off items from a list (I am keeping my bucket list though). Instead, I will look at working with an overarching theme that I will transform myself; my physical and mental health, career and so much more.
2018 is about building the life I’ve always wanted.